Desire
by christianaddict
Summary: An excuse to write about Christian and Syed getting it on AGAIN. What happens when Syed finds Christian painting in his flat. Syed fighting his feelings.


Syed knew what he was doing was wrong. He was a married man and he had managed to convince everyone including his wife that he was committed and making a success of things, well, everyone but Christian. Christian's mocking face came back to him now and he felt his anger mounting as he remembered their exchange of a few hours before. He'd gone to the new flat, he knew he would find Christian there, alone, painting. He convinced himself he needed to go there to drop some things off, but the truth was, he wanted see Christian and he hated himself for his need. When he'd walked in, Christian had been standing there, top off, sweat glistening on his torso, splashes of paint on his face and body and Syed had barely been able to take his eyes off him. He was furious with Christian for getting to him and lashed out, unable to control his rage. He had fought with everything he had to do the right thing, to be a good Muslim and now, here was Christian, with that lazy sex filled smile of his, half naked, in his house, putting temptation in his way yet again. The man was always in his face.

"Why are you here Christian?"

"I'm painting your flat Syed."

"You know what I mean, you shouldn't be here. Are you _trying_ to make things difficult?"

"Why should they be difficult? You made your choice didn't you? I' m just doing a job."

"Oh don't come that with me, you love watching me struggle, so you can say you were right, you're just here to gloat."

"No, Sy I'm not somebody who gloats and what is there in this situation to gloat about? I'm here because Amira hired me to paint, end of."

Christian moved closer to Syed, loving the fact that at least he could still affect Syed. Syed looked anywhere but at him

"I don't love watching you struggle, I wish you'd just do the right thing and stop hurting yourself, and me"

Syed couldn't look at him. The smell of him! Syed's body was filled with desire so powerful it threatened to overwhelm him. He wanted Christian there, on the floor, in the dust, he wouldn't have cared. The knowledge that he had to control that desire made him angrier still.

"I don't want you here. I'm going to hire someone else. You're not wanted, so just pack up your paints and go home Christian."

"I don't like to leave a job half done; I like to deal with my unfinished business."

Christian's meaning was clear.

"Just get out Christian. There's nothing for you here."

"Really? You're telling me that Syed, but your body is saying something else."

Christian moved even closer to Syed

"Stay away from me."

"Why, is it difficult to control yourself? Oh for god's sake Syed, how much longer are you going to keep this up? You want me as much as I want you. I told you before; no amount of self deception is ever going to change that. Why are you keeping up this sham of a marriage?"

"How dare you? My marriage is not a sham. I love Amira."

"You can repeat that to yourself as much as you like It might wash with other people Sy but I know the truth Why are you here now? You wanted to be near me and you know it."

"Get out of my house. You're not welcome here. Just leave me be. Go and do what you do best."

"And what would that be?"

"Oh you know, go find another conquest to notch up on your bedpost, play your infantile games with someone else."

"That's not fair Sy."

They looked at each other, Syed's chest was heaving with anger and desire and Christian wanted to touch him so much he could almost taste him. He stepped forward so he was inches from Syed and Syed closed his eyes, breathing him in, willing his body and mind not to give way, not now he had come so far.

"Go away Christian. Go away and don't come back, don't talk to me, don't interfere in my life."

"Okay you win Syed. Carry on with your lies. I wonder how long you can keep it up. Maybe I'll take your advice. Find myself a man who doesn't lie every time he opens his mouth. _You_ think of what to tell Amira."

He grabbed his shirt and Syed pulled fifty pounds out of his pocket.

"Here's your money."

Christian looked hurt and then masked it with contempt.

"Keep your money Syed."

And then he was gone.

Syed could feel tears of frustration welling up as soon as Christian left. He was as in love with Christian as ever. He wanted to be held in his arms, wanted to breathe him in, wanted to make love and never let him go. But that was just a dream, someone else's life. He hated him for reminding him once again just what he had lost by choosing this life. Amira came in at that moment, bags of shopping, the names on the bags suggesting hair products and shoes, rather than food or things for the flat.

"Heh Babe, Where is Christian? He's supposed to be here painting"

"I told him to go Amira. We haven't got the money to pay someone. I'll do the painting myself."

"Can you paint?"

"It's not bloody rocket science. _You _could help. It might do you good to do something more than shop for once."

"That's not fair. I got the flat."

"Yeah, with your father's money. When are you going to start doing something useful?"

Syed knew he was being cruel and hurting her but he didn't care at that moment. In fact he felt he hated her. He couldn't bear to look at her hurt face and the realisation that she would want to make up later and what that would entail, filled him with disgust.

"I'm going out."

"What? Where are you going? I thought you were going to paint?"

"Oh just leave it will you Amira. I've got things to do."

He stormed out, went straight to Christian's flat, ready to vent his anger at the person who was causing him to behave so badly. It was Christian's fault. Why did he have to be _there_ all the time? It would have been better if he'd never come back at New Year, if he'd just stayed away and then Syed felt he might have had a chance to make a go of things. But with him hanging around all the time it was impossible. Syed was going to make it plain to him, once and for all, that he needed to back off.

He rang the bell and Christian answered the door. He'd showered and was naked except for a pair of jogging bottoms slung low on his hips so Syed could see the v his muscles made below his belly button. Syed breathed in deeply. He pushed past Christian into the flat and started on him as soon as Christian shut the door.

"You just never know when to give up do you? Are you trying to ruin everything for me? Every time I turn, you're there. You're like a bloody stalker."

"That's not fair and I might just remind you that you're in my house right now. You love to put it all on me Sy like I can help loving you. Nothing's changed. I can't help how I feel and when I have to watch you looking so miserable…"

"I'm not miserable"

"Oh don't give me that! I know you Syed. I know what makes you tick. You still love me and its killing you trying to make a go of it when you don't want her."

"How dare you speak about my wife? You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?"

Christian moved so he was standing inches from Syed.

"What about if I do this? Does she make you feel like I do?"

He ran his hand down Syed's arm. Syed groaned inside, the tightness building in his trousers, all ready threatening to give him away.

"Don't touch me."

Christian ignored him.

"And this?"

He put his thumb to Syed's lips. Syed's body was silently screaming from every pore, every bit of him awake to Christian's touch.

"Sy, why do you keep fighting? You _know_ this feels right."

Syed turned away. Christian moved up behind him, holding both his arms.

"Sy."

Syed stood stock still. He longed for Christian to kiss him, everything Christian said was true. It didn't matter what he did. This just wouldn't go away. Even if he hadn't been in love with Christian, he knew he wouldn't have felt right with Amira. He was gay and he hated that that was so, hated the knowledge that even without Christian, he would be sneaking off at some point to be true to his nature. Christian pulled him round, took his face in his hands, and stroked his hair. Syed couldn't look him in the face. Christian would see the admission. Christian kissed him then, full on the lips but with such tenderness and passion it took Syed's breath.

"Syed, just let go, let me love you. "

He kissed Syed again, this time opening his mouth, using his tongue, Syed responding. They became lost in the kiss. Syed moaned and then pushed Christian up against the wall. They were both serious now. They pulled back from the kiss and chests heaving, looked at each other. Syed ran his hands over Christian's shoulders, and then his chest and stomach, still looking at Christian full in the face. He took off his shirt and then he let his head fall back and closed his eyes. Christian bent to lick him, sucking his nipples, kneeling down and opening his trousers. He felt himself get harder and that hardness spring out of his trousers as Christian slid them down over his hips, kissing and licking as he did so, running his tongue around the tip of Syed's cock, stroking Syed's legs until every bit of Syed was on fire for him. Christian led him to the bed wanting to make love to Syed, needing to possess his man and drive every bit of doubt left in Syed's mind that this was not right or good and as it should be. They took off the rest of their clothes and lay naked, facing each other. Christian took the lead again, running his hands all over Syed, sucking at his nipples until they felt tender and used. Syed felt the hardness of Christian's body, breathed in his musky scent and suddenly he wanted Christian on him, and in him, felt that he would never get enough of him. He pulled Christian on top of him feeling Christian hard and leaking against his belly, loving the wetness of his cock, of his mouth. He lifted up his legs bending his knees and positioned himself so that Christian could enter him. He wanted to see his face, wanted to let go and be fucked. Christian was rubbing against Syed's belly and then he moved so he could push himself into Syed's waiting body. He reached to the side of the bed and then he was slicking Syed's hole with oil, pushing his fingers in and out, Syed feeling a fierce joy as he experienced the first pain of Christian's cock pushing its way into him.

" Go slow, go slow Christian," he gasped as he felt his body beginning to convulse with the pain and pleasure of lying on his back, being fucked in that position, loving the heaviness of Christian's body on him, the way Christian seemed to consume him.

Christian was stroking Syed's hair from his face and pushing deeper and harder and then faster.

"Ohh Syed I love you, I love you, you feel so_ fucking_ good, tell me this isn't right."

Syed didn't answer. He was going to explode inside and out. A deep, sweet aching filled his groin and his backside. Christian was sliding in and out of him, playing with him keeping him on the brink so that he felt he was riding his orgasm and that it would never stop. Then it became more focussed and more intense and Christian was crying out, "fuck fuck fuck ohh fuck." as he came deep in Syed, the two of them climaxing at the same time, Christian skilled in his lovemaking, knew how to create the moment.

"Stay in me." Syed couldn't bear to separate but Christian slid from him and then Syed's legs relaxed and Christian lay on top of him, cocks wet on each other's bellies. Christian closed his eyes and Syed held the back of his head, gently massaging his neck.

"Christian, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, oh dear God what am I going to do?"


End file.
